


Walk of a Warden

by assassin_trifecta



Series: Walk of a Warden [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Female origin story, I'm so sorry, everything is subject to change here, glorious Warrior Queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2015-04-23
Packaged: 2018-03-02 19:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2823965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assassin_trifecta/pseuds/assassin_trifecta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ileanna Cousland woke up expecting to see her father and brother off to battle, to take care of her mother and her lands for only a few months. As she dressed that morning for her training, for her daily chores and noble duties, she never guessed at the treachery that would happen; she never expected to be conscripted into the Grey Wardens, to fall in love, to slay an Archdemon, or to stop the oncoming horde of Darkspawn that would eat through Ferelden if left unchecked. What's more, she never expected in her life that she would become the Queen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Travel

It had been a remarkably long journey already, and it had only been hours. Still covered in the blood of the Howe traitors, in the blood of her father, the nephew and sister-in-law that she had held in her arms, she had been forced to gather herself enough to leave her mother behind in a den of lions to die and then walk with a stranger to her uncertain death. Only an hour, and she was exhausted. Ready to rest, and not eager to find her brother and tell him of the treachery that had taken place in Highever. The only souls who had managed to escape Highever Castle were a mabari, a Warden, and a second-child who hardly had hopes of living past the year.

                “Master Duncan-” Ileanna halted her horse, no longer able to endure moving and not moving at the same time. The Grey Warden rode a few feet further before he registered that his charge was no longer beside him. When he turned, he raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

                “We must keep moving, my lady,” the Commander stated. “Lest the Arl’s men realize you are gone and find us on the road.” Though Ileanna knew he had no intentions of being harsh, the cool reality of his tone made the young woman flinch.

                The young recruit slid off of the saddle of her horse – stolen from the stables in her home before the Howe men could get there and kill the poor creatures – and walked to the edge of the road. her faithful mabari hound - Lady, she called the dog - moved nowhere as she disobeyed the commander, most likely mourning the loss of the family herself. Ileanna had no intentions of being so insubordinate toward her new commander, but the shock was starting to set in, the reality of the situation was starting to sink into her mind and Ileanna could no longer bear to hold it up on her own. Armored, armed, and completely alone in her mourning, the young Cousland knelt down at the edge of the road, gripping her hair tightly.

                “My lady?” Behind her, she could hear the Warden commander dismounting and approaching her.

                “I just – I need a moment, Duncan.” Ileanna replied, not bothering to turn and look at him. She took a deep, shaky breath, her eyes closed tight in hopes of damming the flood of tears that was just starting to threaten overflowing. There was no use swallowing down the lump in her throat, though, and in just moments the tears burst through her weak eyelids. Another few deep breaths, and Ileanna managed to silence her tears, though they still fell in rivers down her cheeks.

                Duncan was there, then, and even though Ileanna had not asked him to, and even though she told herself that she didn’t want him to, the Warden placed his gloved hand on her shoulder, kneeling down beside her. Though the gesture was little, the comfort was great enough coming from this semi-stranger that had been there in her parent’s last minutes. While Duncan’s hand was unfamiliar there, and the strange weight of his gauntlet was alien compared to her father’s comforting touch or her brother’s eager thump on her back, it was enough to quell the tears for at least a moment.

                “I understand your pain, Ileanna, but we must keep moving,” Duncan’s voice was softer than before, and a considerable amount warmer. “At least for a while. We will make camp before dark, when we are safe, I can assure you of that.” The Grey Warden lingered for a moment longer, his hand balancing on her shoulder before he spoke again. “Take a moment to gather yourself, and we will set off again when you are ready.”

                When Ileanna could no longer feel the warmth of Duncan’s hand or his presence next to her, she took a look up at the sky, gauging the time they had until sunset. They could only have been an hour on the road, and the sky was finally starting to lighten. The attack happened early in the morning, it seemed – perhaps around the third hour of the day. Ileanna would have to suffer the whole day on the road, and while she had surely traveled similar distances, she held no doubt that this would be the longest day of her so-far short life.  They had weeks more of this travel, and she would have to steel herself to the pain of the world in the coming days.

                “Right,” Ileanna stood and walked back to her horse and gave the creature’s neck a pat, then bending down to rub the ears of her hound before returning to the saddle. She looked toward Duncan, who she knew would become one of her only true allies in the coming trials, if she survived the Darkspawn invasion. “Let’s go, then,” she gave him the only smile that she could muster. “We have a long journey ahead of us.”


	2. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ileanna and Duncan arrive at Ostagar and run into the king, to whom deliver the unfortunate news of Teyrn Cousland's fate.

Two weeks. Two weeks she had been on the road, and Ileanna Cousland wanted nothing more than to have a proper rest, a proper bath, and a proper meal outside of a tavern or an inn that Duncan decided they could stay at. There were a number of streams and rivers on their way to Ostagar, but the nights were turning colder and Ileanna could hardly stand to sink herself into freezing water while Duncan stayed as far away as propriety and safety could allow together. She was cold, tired of wearing her armor day in and day out, and desperate to be able to have other company besides the commander of the Ferelden Wardens and a dog. Duncan was by all means a good man, but he was old and he was wise, and he was her Commander before he was her friend. Lady was her faithful companion for life, but the Cousland needed proper human interaction – she needed a friend.

                The gates of Ostagar were a welcoming site when Ileanna and Duncan were finally close enough to make them out down the Imperial Highway. The two practically galloped into the stables, startling the young squire that had been given the unfortunate duty of tending to the horses there. Though she had been wary of the travel, Ileanna was eager to see the camp, and hopefully see her brother there as well.

                Fergus was the first thing on her mind when Ileanna dismounted from her horse and gave Lady a quick pat on the head. She looked to Duncan, practically bounced on her heels as the older man stepped from his saddle and onto the ground. The bow in her legs from riding so long and the soreness of her thighs and her backside were hardly registered while the Cousland nearly vibrated out of her boots.

                “Relax, my lady, we will be in camp shortly, and you can speak with your brother.” Duncan put a hand on his recruit’s shoulder, steering her further toward the camp. “I know you must be eager to relax shortly, but be aware that there are preparations we must make for the Joining – yours and the other recruit’s addition to the Grey Wardens, that is-“

                Duncan could speak no further, however, for just as he opened his mouth to continue, a group of six soldiers approached and parted before them, revealing from the back of their ranks a man most familiar to Ileanna.

                “Duncan!” King Cailan strode forward, barely giving the Grey Warden enough time to cross his arms in front of his chest in a bow before grasping his arm in a considerably informal manner. The king grinned like the two were old friends – and for all Ileanna knew, that was such. “It is good to see you again, I trust that your trip was a success?”

                “Only in part, your majesty,” Duncan replied, his glance sliding over to Ileanna, whose head was still bowed formally to her king. “But I don’t think it my place to extrapolate on the details.”

                “Excellent!” The king gave a magnificent grin, and for once Ileanna was glad that the ruler of Ferelden was a little bit absent minded. “Then I shall ride into battle with the famed Grey Wardens at last – glorious!” King Cailan released Duncan’s arm at last, straightening himself out so that he could look over the recruit that Duncan had brought with him. “Your recruit looks familiar – have I seen you before, dear girl?”

                Ileanna crossed her arms and bowed once more before raising her head, giving the king a gracious smile. “I was brought to attend a Landsmeet when I was younger, your majesty. My father is – was – Bryce Cousland.” Try as she might, Ileanna could not hide the wince that was trigger when she corrected herself, and the smile fell to dismay once again.

                Cailan Theirin was not so absent minded as to miss her correction, much to Ileanna’s dismay. “Was?” the King asked, the smile on his face quickly falling to a frown as well. “What happened, my lady? Your brother arrived before you, but your father and Arl Howe never came in afterwards. What unfortunate destiny has befallen Bryce?”

                “Arl Rendon Howe,” Ileanna was well-mannered enough to hide the curl of her lips in disgust when speaking the treacherous name, but the disdain in her voice was clear enough, even to the king, when she spoke. “The good Arl’s men were _delayed,_ your majesty, the day my brother left, and that night the ba- the _Arl_ launched an attack on my father’s estate. My nephew, my brother’s wife, my father and mother, the servants, the chantry, the guards – all slain by his men.” It took a good moment for Ileanna to remember that she was speaking to the King of Ferelden and not a local lord or a tavern worker, but at Duncan’s surprised stare, the young Cousland softened her gaze and lowered her head. “He has taken my land and my family, your majesty. I do not think he will be so unwise as to come here at any time.” Beside her, Lady let out a low growl and nudged Ileanna’s hand with her nose, letting her mistress know that she too was ready to rip out the throat of the treacherous Arl.

                King Cailan’s saddened frown turned into an expression of shock and dismay. “I’m so sorry, my lady,” He muttered. “Allow me to offer my condolences, and my army’s aid to take back your lands after the Darkspawn are dealt with.”  The king paused to let the hope sink in, watching as Ileanna bowed in her gratefulness. “I suppose you are uneager to send news of this to your brother, so allow me to be the first to tell you that he and a few of his men were sent out into the Wilds as a scouting party. He should be back to camp within the next few days.”

                The news of her brother’s whereabouts sliced through the building hope of taking their lands back like a knife through warm butter. The Korcari Wilds. Even in Highever there were tales of the wretchedness of the place, and Duncan had told her through their travels that it was becoming infested with Darkspawn. If what he had been telling her was true, it was most likely that Fergus was already with their parents and the Maker…

                “I’m sorry I can give you no more than my word,” King Cailan continued. “But Teyrn Loghain is looking for me, and I mustn’t keep him waiting much longer.” The King nodded his head at the two, and while Ileanna and Duncan bowed in response he left with his guards, turning back to walk across the bridge into camp.

                There was a moment of silence between Duncan and Ileanna before the Warden finally spoke. “You are free to a hot meal and a warm bath in camp, my lady. Your mabari can come with me to the kennels.” At this, Lady gave a slightly indignant bark that she could not continue to stay by her mistress’ side, but Duncan continued on anyway. “There is another Grey Warden here that I would like you to meet before the week is out. His name is Alistair, a junior Warden that will assist you and your fellow recruits in preparing for the Joining.” Duncan looked to the gates of the camp.

                As the two of them walked down the bridge to the camp, accompanied by Lady who was eagerly sniffing at her surroundings and anyone that stepped too close to her, Duncan explained to Ileanna the arrangements that were made at camp. The relations between the Circle mages and the Chantry there were strained as ever and he encouraged her to not pick sides, the Ash Warriors were a strange group but mostly likable and easy to get along with if you stayed out of their way. There were Wardens there, but not many and not enough – in Duncan’s eyes – to reverse the tide of battle if things were to go wrong. Teyrn Loghain’s men were there as well, along with the King’s army and the majority of the army of Highever that had arrived with Fergus, minus he and his scouting party. Tensions were high because of the presence of the few Templars there with the chantry, but peace was being kept steady with the aid of the Wardens.

                “I am sure that I will see you before the week is out, my lady,” Duncan continued, just before they parted ways at the end of the bridge. “Please, don’t be a stranger. I am sure you have questions, and I will be happy to help in anything that you need.”

                It was all Ileanna could do to keep from laughing when Duncan and Lady parted before she could ask him where the washing areas were.


	3. Alistair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ileanna's fateful meeting with a man whose future she does not know intertwines with her own so closely. Alistair takes her around the camp, and she makes acquaintance with one of her fellow recruits.

Ileanna was able to get vaguely washed with the aid of a young mage girl who was perhaps the only one who knew how to use the water pumps at Ostagar. The girl was kind, and Ileanna was glad for once that someone would talk to her without her title. She had never known a mage before, and was glad to meet the young woman. The chantry so often painted mages as evil heretics that it was nice for Ileanna to be able to dispel any false claims that had been pounded into her head since she was young. The girl had told her that the mages were at Ostagar even though the chantry wasn’t happy about it, and as the two washed together, Ileanna admit to her that she was finally glad for some female company.

                That company did not last long, however, for as soon as Ileanna had dried and dressed herself in her armor once more, she was reminded that she needed to visit the junior Warden Alistair that Duncan had mentioned. There were a number of camp guards stationed about, one of which pointed Ileanna in the direction of a more open portion of the ruins where he said that the Warden had been heading moments before, huffing and puffing something about mage hunting. Confused, but glad for the help, Ileanna thanked him and followed the direction that he pointed her in, attempting to further dry her hair in the process.

                It was hard to miss the Warden Alistair when Ileanna had finally found him, and it was easy to understand why he had been apparently grumbling about mage hunting. Standing on the steps of a part of the ruins while waiting her turn to speak, Ileanna watched as the Warden was harassed by a rather unfriendly mage who seemed to treat the Warden as though he were a Templar.

                The exchange that Ileanna watched was quick and rather painful to experience. It seemed that the Revered Mother had sent Alistair to call upon the mage that he was arguing with, and the mage was unhappy as any mage would be to get such a greeting. Still, the man had no such place in being so rude to Alistair who, though he had given a few impolite quips back in response, was better behaved.

                “Well, nice to see we’re all behaving as adults.” Ileanna commented as she walked up the steps to join the Warden, looking after the mage as he hastened away in a fury. She turned toward the Warden, finally able to get a better look at him up close.

                “Yes, well, the wonderful thing about the Blight is that it’s known for bringing people together.” Alistair commented in return, giving her a charming smile that Ileanna had not expected. She had assumed that all Grey Wardens were older men with beards, hardened by battle. When Duncan had told her that Alistair was a junior Warden, she hadn’t actually put any thought into it, assuming that he was as well an older gentleman with a beard who had just been recently recruited and Joined, like she had been.

                “You’re Alistair, right?” Ileanna asked, perhaps a moment too late after recovering from the realization that the junior Warden was actually a very attractive young man. “Duncan sent me to come meet you.” The young woman held out her hand, hesitated briefly in wondering if that was proper enough, but ultimately decided that she didn’t care because Alistair clearly didn’t when he reached his hand out to grasp hers in a firm, friendly handshake.

                “I am, and I’m guessing that makes you the final recruit, right?” The Warden asked in response, releasing her hand after a sufficient greeting and dropping his own to his sides. He gave a short laugh, rubbing the back of his head. “I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch your name when Duncan told me who he was going to retrieve from Highever.”

                “Ileanna Cousland,” the recruit bowed her head, regretting immediately that she included her surname in the introduction when Alistair bent himself into a rather informal bow. “Oh please, no-“ she hastened, holding out her hands as though she could stop him from addressing her title. When Alistair rose, confused, Ileanna’s cheeks were flushed with embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I just – please, we’re both here for the same rank and purpose, I’m going to be a Warden soon, not the daughter of a Teyrn. Thank you for recognizing the status, but please don’t bend yourself to it.” She may have sounded a little bit like she was pleading with the man, but it did not bother Ileanna as much as it once would have, weeks ago. “Forgive me, I-“

                “No, that’s alright, I completely understand,” Alistair smiled at her once more, and for some reason Ileanna got the feeling that he truly did understand. She was about to ask him what he meant, but the junior Warden continued, perhaps cutting her off intentionally, though she couldn’t tell very well if he had. “Anyway, perhaps I should take your around the camp to meet the other recruits? They’re all very eager to meet you and be on with the Joining.”

                There it was again, that word that Ileanna wasn’t sure she fully understood. The Joining. Duncan had hardly explained to her what was going to happen, and he’d been throwing around the term as long as they had been traveling together. She gathered that it was what was going to happen to initiate her and her fellow recruits into the Grey Wardens, but she had no idea what the whole process entailed.

                “What is that, by the way?” Ileanna asked as the two started down the steps and back toward camp. “The Joining, I mean. Duncan kept talking about it like I already knew what was going to happen, but he never actually told me.” The recruit cast her glance toward the junior Warden, but his face revealed no more than Duncan had over the past weeks. If anything, he looked a little bit guilty about whatever he was withholding.

                “I’m sorry, Ileanna,” Alistair began, and she could tell that he really _was_ remorseful about not being able to reveal to her the details of whatever was going on. “I’m sure Duncan will reveal more in time, but I can’t actually tell you anything until the time of your initiation.” He gave her a smile that was full of regret. “I can tell you that it’s going to be dangerous, though I don’t know if that’ll help.”

                “I guess I’d already assumed that, really.” Ileanna shrugged, offering a short smile in response. It was already hard not to smile around Alistair. He was kind enough and had a jovial aura that made him rather easy to get along with. “There’s nothing not dangerous about getting recruited and shipped off to war.” To think, this is what she had originally been begging her father for when she first met Duncan. “Speaking of, how did you get recruited into the Wardens? Surely you’ve got some beautiful girl waiting for you somewhere, what made you jump head first into fighting the Darkspawn?”

                Ileanna gathered immediately that this was the wrong type of question to ask. Alistair’s cheeks flushed a light shade of embarrassed pink and he turned his attention from her to the straps of his boots. The recruit was immediately unhappy that she had said anything of the sort, but before she could open up her mouth to apologize, Alistair was already speaking, though his boots most likely heard him better than Ileanna could.

                “I was a Templar, actually,” the Warden stated, which shined a light upon the behavior of the mage that she had seen him speaking with before. “Not a full Templar, but I was versed in the practices and followed the Law like any other soldier of the Maker. Thing was, I absolutely hated it in the chantry. Dove everyone mad as often as I could – which was often, considering I was a boy in a church who had to follow strict orders that I didn’t like.” He gave a short laugh, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture of uncomfortable awkwardness that Ileanna wished she could remedy. “Duncan came and saved me – had to put up a fight for me too, since the revered mother didn’t want to let me go for the life of her.” Finally, Alistair looked back over to his charge. “So what about you? What brings you to Ostagar?”

                Though Ileanna could tell that this was not Alistair’s entire story, she was smart enough not to pry into something that he didn’t want to discuss. She took a moment to gather her thoughts while they wandered through camp, almost aimlessly, barely looking for the other recruits that Alistair had said he’d introduce her to. The wounds that the death of her family and friends in Highever castle had inflicted upon her were healing, though they were still fresh. If she wasn’t careful, they would open up again and she would end up bleeding on the ground in front of someone that she actually felt she was trying to impress.

                “Duncan came to Highever looking for a recruit,” she started to explain. “My father, brother, and Arl Howe’s men were preparing to leave for here, so everything was a little bit hectic. Apparently Duncan had his sights set on me from the beginning, but once my father caught wind of this, he squashed the notion and sent him after a knight in our charge, Ser Gilmore.” Rambling about the little things were comforting, but bringing up Ser Gilmore… Had he lived? Had he gotten past Howe’s men and out of the castle or did he suffer at the bastard’s hand to die fighting with his men? Shaking her head to rid herself of the thought, Ileanna continued.

                “My brother and most of the men from Highever left that morning, rather quickly too, it’s no wonder why they got here so fast. Duncan stayed around to recruit Ser Gilmore, I guess, but Arl Howe’s men came that night and attacked my family. Killed everyone. Ser Gilmore held them at the gates for a while, but I don’t know what happened to him – he told my mother and I that my father had assumed we were at the servant’s exit…” Ileanna held her breath for a moment, closing her eyes tightly. The wounds had opened, but her armor was keeping the blood from leaking out, it seemed. Still, she had to pause walking and was happy when Alistair halted beside her, though she couldn’t bring herself to look up at his face. “Father was badly wounded, and though mother and I knew he wouldn’t make it out alive, we had to try, right? In the end, we couldn’t convince him… That’s when Duncan came around. He’d clearly just carved his way through Howe’s men, and when my mother saw him she decided to stay behind and help us get away faster, since Duncan absolutely needed to leave Highever with a recruit. I guess he got what he wanted originally then, the Teyrn’s daughter as a Grey Warden. There was nothing that I could do to convince them otherwise… I had to leave my parents at the mercy of Howe’s men… I thought he was our friend… I thought-“

                “Ileanna, please.” Alistair held his hand out, putting it on the woman’s shoulder. “Not many of us have happy stories, but there’s no use hurting yourself in reliving it, not for my sake.” He gave her an apologetic smile, and Ileanna was relieved to feel momentarily mollified by it. He seemed genuine enough, and now they were both at fault of asking the other insensitive questions.

                They traveled on in silence for the most part, Alistair breaking it every so often to point something out about a person or thing in camp. They passed by the kennels, where Lady barked happily at her mistress’ approach. Ileanna introduced her mabari to Alistair, who wasn’t quite taken with the dog even though Lady clearly thought highly of him.

                Of the three recruits that Ileanna was a part of, she was only able to meet one of them. Alistair introduced her to a rather rat-like man named Daveth, who was apparently talented with knives, but not with his words. They found him trying to seduce a soldier who clearly didn’t reciprocate his advances, and Ileanna was rather glad to save the poor woman from his tactless approach. The solider, apparently, appreciated the gesture, telling from the grateful look she threw her two saviors.

                Daveth told them that he had seen Ser Jory – a knight from Redcliffe, Alistair explained – shortly beforehand but could tell them neither where he was going nor where he could be found. Alistair accepted this, and when he turned back to face Ileanna his jovial nature had returned and his smile reached his eyes again.

                “So, where to now, recruit?” He asked, grinning at her again.

                “Duncan said not to be a stranger,” Ileanna replied, scratching the back of her head. “But to be honest I haven’t had anything to eat since…” Thinking, the young warrior couldn’t exactly remember what she ate last or the time she ate it. “Sometime before dawn, I believe. Is there any way we can gather something to lunch on before Duncan has us running errands?”

                “Yes, as a matter of fact,” Alistair grinned at her. “The mess is this way,” he explained nodding his head behind him. He paused for a moment before continuing. “Perhaps Ser Jory will be there… Daveth?” The Warden turned to the other recruit, who had continued to stand a few feet away from the two. “Mind joining us, or have you had something already?”

                The other recruit shrugged, and though Ileanna was a little bit put off at not being able to further question Alistair on his background and how he managed to escape the chantry, she was glad to have more company, and to be able to get to know the other recruits that would be going through the mysterious Joining with her. The three set off together, Ileanna following her other two companions who had a better knowledge of the camp’s layout.

                Though Ser Jory was not in the mess, they took lunch with a few of the soldiers from Highever that were glad enough to see Ileanna, though devastated to hear the news of the Teyrn’s fate. Their group spoke idly of the outcome of the past battles and what might happen at the one upcoming, and though it was a relief to see a few vaguely familiar faces, Ileanna could not help but find herself distracted by the presence of Alistair’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the positive response! Things will twist from the canon adventure from time to time, but only in creative ways that I would hope to expand character growth and relationship dynamics. Thank you all so much for liking my self indulgent fictional tendencies, oh my goodness!


	4. The Mission

The group spent at least an hour lunching before Alistair sat up from the table. Ileanna had been glad to finally get something into her belly, but after an extended period with Daveth she couldn’t help but wonder if she was actually cut out to be part of this group of Wardens. It was good conversation for the most part, but she was glad when Alistair gave her a glance and a nod in the direction of Duncan’s tent.

                “We should be getting back to Duncan now, Daveth,” the junior Warden warned, and Daveth finally pulled out of the conversation that he had been entrenched in with one of the Highever soldiers. “No doubt he will be waiting for us. Perhaps we’ll even be able to find Ser Jory.”

                The three left the mess together and made their way across camp, past the mages performing some sort of ritual that was being overseen by a number of Templars. There was a woman standing a few feet away from the mage’s enclave – most likely a mage herself, by the appearance of her robes – older looking and white haired, but she had a kind face and smiled at the three Wardens as they passed.

                “Good day, you three,” the old woman smiled at them, and Ileanna couldn’t help but approach her. The woman reminded Ileanna of her mother, and she was felt eager to learn more about the mages now that she had made acquaintance with the girl in the washing rooms. “You must be the new Warden recruit, my lady.”

                Ileanna blinked, taken aback by being addressed so highly by this stranger. “I’m sorry, I-“

                “Worry not, child, the mages have been made aware of the backgrounds of each three of you recruits.” The old woman gave a soft laugh, and despite the fact that it was at the expense of Ileanna’s surprise, she could not help but feel comforted by it. “My colleagues over there are preparing for your Joining tonight, as a matter of fact.” She glanced over her shoulder at the mages performing the ritual. “But where are my manners? My name is Wynne, and you must be Ileanna.” Again, Wynne smiled. “You should be proud of yourself, Duncan is not a man who is easily impressed, it must have taken a lot for you to get his attention. Good luck on the battlefield, to you and us all, young Wardens. Now go, there is no doubt that you have a great amount of work to do before you become an official member of the Grey.”

                Surprised by the early dismissal and the kindness that Wynne, Ileanna turned her gaze back to her companions. Alistair gave her an encouraging smile, nodding in the direction that he continued to walk, most likely expecting her to follow. With little other choice, Ileanna bid a polite goodbye to the mage woman and jogged a few steps to catch up with her fellow recruit and the junior Warden.

                “She was right, you know,” Alistair commented as they continued along the path toward Duncan’s tent. “There _is_ plenty of work to be done, and no doubt that’s Duncan now, ready to give it to you…”

                The two recruits and their junior Warden approached Duncan’s tent, and sure enough he stood before a fire that must have been burning for some time already. By his side stood Lady, barking happily at her mistress’ return, and a man that Ileanna had never seen before. As their group approached, Lady pounced up to greet Ileanna, her large paws on the recruit’s shoulders.

                “I thought you were in the kennels earlier, Lady!” Despite her confusion, Ileanna greeted her hound happily, petting behind the beast’s ears. She looked to Duncan for an explanation and he gave her a short smile in return.

                “Some of the other hounds are sick from the Blight,” he stated, and though he smiled fondly at Lady, there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. “They were acting out, and I thought you would prefer it if Lady didn’t get infected with the taint so early, or get hurt by one of the Ash warrior’s hounds.” With a grateful nod from Ileanna, Duncan continued. “Which leads me to ask a favor of you, when you go out into the Wilds, the kennel master has been asking for a flower – white petals with a red center, Andraste’s Grace I believe it’s called – he says it might help the other dogs.”

                “Wait-“ Daveth stepped forward, a frown on his face. “Go out into the Wilds? There’s Darkspawn in there, there is, what are we going out there for?”

                Duncan crossed his arms behind his back and looked over the gathered group. “Your Joining is being prepared for, but what we need the most is three vials of Darkspawn blood, one for each of you.” The serious expression on his face told Ileanna that there was no backing out at this point – this was the real deal, and this was what the Joining entailed. “And Alistair, there are some documents that I need you to retrieve from an abandoned fort in the south east Wilds. Be prepared, I hear there are plenty of Darkspawn in the area.” When there was only silence, the full weight of their task sinking in, Duncan cleared his throat.

                “I almost forgot,” he continued, giving the gathered a short smile. “Miss Cousland, Daveth, this is Ser Jory, your fellow recruit.” Finally, Duncan gestured to the other man that had been standing beside him. “He is a Knight from Redcliffe.”

                “It’s a pleasure to meet all of you,” Ser Jory bowed his head, and even went so far as to bend at his waist toward Ileanna, whose cheeks flushed an embarrassed pink. “My Lady Cousland, it’s an hono-“

                “No, please,” Ileanna cleared her throat, making an attempt to clear the blush from her cheeks. “We’re all Wardens here,” she gave him a smile and the same she had given Alistair before. “No Ladies or Lords, please. It’s much easier to fight together that way.”

                When the three recruits were acquainted well enough, Ileanna bid goodbye to Lady – telling her that being polite to Duncan was in her best interest – and they all departed in the direction of the gate to the Wilds.

                When Alistair approached the guard there, the man stood tall, saluted the Warden, and looked between the three recruits. “Duncan’s told me of your mission in the Wilds – stay safe out there, and be careful. There’s more than just Darkspawn in that swamp.”


	5. Treaties

It was miraculously quiet in the Korcari Wilds. Ileanna had never been further south than Denerim before, at least that she remembered, and the Ferelden swamps were certainly far different than the coasts of Highever. It smelled strange here, like the parts of the coastlands that were dense with trees and when the water went out all that was left was the smell of rotten eggs that used to cling to Ileanna’s clothes whenever she lingered too long. But then again, there was something deeper, more sinister under the marshy decay… something like meat that hadn’t been properly cured before going into the larder…

                When Ileanna saw the bodies, each covered in armor she remembered clearly from home…

                Sweeter than wetland decay, more vile than uncooked meat of a pig or a druffalo…

                Rotting flesh, left out in the Wilds like a taunt from whatever killed them.

                “Darkspawn.”

                Alistair didn’t have to say anything else to kick the newest recruit’s adrenaline into overdrive. Ileanna rushed forward immediately, not thinking or heeding the warning call of the only experienced Warden among them. She practically ran through the group of bodies that were littered about the marsh floor, looking for anything like a sign of life among the men from Highever that had been sent out to scout the Wilds before the army. The scouting party that her brother had been leading.

                “No no no no no no no-“ the pleading came out in a whisper as the Cousland – possibly the last remaining member of her family – searched through the bodies for any sign of her brother. The Warden and the other recruits were hot on her heels but she wasn’t giving them time to catch up, not with the possibility that her brother could still be there, or with the possibility that he was gone and she would find his body among those of the scouts that were left behind.

                When Ileanna spotted something moving, she didn’t stop to think if it was an injured Darkspawn or soldier, she just moved as quickly as she could to its side, sliding down onto her knees beside the poor creature. She was pleased – to an extent – to see the crest of her family’s armies adorning the scout’s armor, but there was no happiness that came from the condition that he was in.

                “M-My lady,” the scout was hardly able to speak, but he clearly recognized the face of a Cousland. She had been to the barracks a number of times, and though she could not recognize the scout beneath the blood and the grime of the Wilds, she was sure that he had at least seen her before.  “What a pleasure it is to – to see you.” His words were broken by bloody coughs, but the scout gave her a genuine smile.

                “Hush, soldier, I’m not your Lady anymore, I’m a Warden.” Though she was frustrated at having to repeat the words, Ileanna kept her voice soft and kind, hopefully to soothe the soldier more than herself. “I’m here to help, I’ll patch you up, and get you back to Ostagar, it’s not far.”

                “I have bandages,” Though Ileanna didn’t know when he had gotten there or how long he had been at her side, she was grateful to hear Alistair’s voice. “And a few poultices.”

                Alistair moved to help the scout, despite Ileanna’s protests that she should be the one to help him – she wanted to be the one to help him. She realized all too quickly, however, that her hands shook and her eyes were blinded by fear, uncertainty, and worst of all – the threat of tears.

                “My lady,” the scout whispered while Alistair applied poultices to his more severe wounds. “Fergus – Lord Cousland – he was unable to escape. The beasts – Darkspawn – they dragged him off, away from the rest of us…”

                For a moment, Alistair paused, looking back to his new recruit, and Ileanna could feel the eyes of the others on her as well. Her brother was gone. Just like the rest of her family, and his, too. While she still had her senses, Ileanna sat back on the ground with her legs crossed beneath her, the blood soaked mud of the Wilds seeping past her armor and into her trousers. The tears that had welled in her eyes fell freely, now, but there was no weeping to go with them. She had thought that she’d spent her tears already. Thought that she had done too much sobbing and seen far too many evils in the past weeks to be able to cry any further, but there were the warm tears falling down her cheeks. There was the shake in her shoulders, but no sound left her throat, no sobbing for the family lost.

                She was alone.

                Losing Fergus felt worse than watching her mother and father die. Leaving them behind in the larder to fend off what they could before they fell while she followed Duncan out of the servant’s exit. She had hoped that she would see Fergus in Ostagar, hoped that she would be able to convey the news to him before something happened to him. When King Cailan told her that he was scouting, she never thought she wouldn’t be able to see him again. Now, even his body was taken from her. They’d been close, all their lives. Sure, he was older and they tormented each other, but he was her friend. Her brother…

                “My Lady-“ The scout was able to rise now, after Alistair had taken care of him as best as he could, and shuffle towards Ileanna.

                A strangled sob finally rose through Ileanna’s throat, but she was able to muffle it and rise to her feet. Looking down at the scout, she offered the man her hand.

                “Let’s get you back to Ostagar.” She stated, the tears dammed, her voice hard. “It’s not far, soldier, and no doubt Teyrn Loghain and King Cailan will wish to know of what’s happened here.”

                The scout looked up to the woman and took her hand gratefully, but he shook his head. “No, my Lady. You’ve got business here, clearly.” He stated, looking between Alistiar and the other recruits. The soldier pressed his arm over his chest in salute to the Warden, bowing his head. “Thank you for your help, Warden. I feel able enough to make the trip on my own.” Again, he looked to Ileanna. “I’ll make the King and Teyrn aware of the situation.”

                Without another word, the scout limped off in the direction the Warden and recruits had come in, and Ileanna was left feeling as though she had failed her family and the men that served them once again.

                “Ileanna, we can turn back-“ Alistair started, clearly unsure of what to do in the case of his emotionally compromised recruit.

                “No.” The woman shook her head, gripping the hilt of her father’s sword that she had taken from the treasury in Highever. “We have a mission, and I have a duty to my family.”

                There were precious few words spoken between the four of them for the rest of their trek through the Wilds. Daveth had spotted the flower that Duncan told them the kennel master was looking for and Ileanna carefully picked it from the ground it was growing in and folded the flower up in a handkerchief to be placed in her travel bag. They came across a few hanged soldiers, but only one wore armor from Highever and it wasn’t Fergus Cousland. Alistair gave them a muttered prayer to the maker and Ileanna wondered if he still had the authority to do so now that he wasn’t ranked among the Chantry.

                When they came across the Darkspawn monuments, Ileanna was the first to draw her blade. There were another few soldiers strung up here, and a few people that Ileanna had guessed were either Chasind or unfortunate travelers that knew about as much as she did about the Wilds. Beside her, Ileanna could see Alistair, Daveth, and Jory draw their weapons, Daveth stepping back just enough to distance himself further and enable him to fight efficiently. Despite Jory’s title and her efficiency with a sword and shield, Alistair put himself forward, guarding his two recruits from any attack.

                It was quiet for a moment, the only sounds the animals of the Wilds. Even the animals grew quiet, so much so that their silence was almost deafening. Something was wrong-

                The Darkspawn struck first, appearing seamlessly from the floor of the Wilds and the pillars of their filth and triumphant hangings. There were enough of them to practically flank the four Wardens, and their stench and appearance almost made Ileanna scream. There was a momentary lull in their movements, almost as though they expected the humans to attack first, but the lull was broken when Daveth let out a startled shout and loosed an arrow into the head of a Darkspawn a few feet from Alistair.

                The creatures attacked then, the shorter ones in the front lunging forward to Alistair, clearly viewing him as the greatest threat despite much larger man holding a much larger sword behind him. They didn’t make sense to Ileanna, but she didn’t take the time to wonder why all the creatures lunged at Alistair, for even _his_ shield would only last so long.

                Gripping the hilt of her sword tight for reassurance in the face of monsters, Ileanna lashed out. Her duty to her family, and now to Ferelden, depended on felling the flock of creatures. Her brother, her mother and father, and the legacy of Wardens before her were all counting on her to keep her head in front of the horrific creatures.

                Alistair parried one of the creatures, a great hulking beast, and the thing fell back, shaken but not fallen. Ileanna took her chance to run the creature through its middle, the blood of it spattering across her shield. With a sickening slick, the thing fell off of her blade and to the ground, black blood pooling from the hole she had made in its stomach. She let out a triumphant cry and whirled to slice through another of the creatures, but her action was cut short by a burst of pain in her side. Looking down, she saw the sparks of corrupt magic bursting at the edges of a hole charred into her armor.

                Ileanna only spared herself a moment to find the source of the magic, and found in the distance a great, armored Darkspawn holding a staff that looked about as corrupt as the wound on her side felt. Still, though, there were too many of the creatures surrounding the four of them for her to be able to break awawy and safely get to the beast. Instead, the warrior hefted her shield to her side to keep the wound concealed and keep herself protected from the magic coming in that direction. Focused on the creatures that were attacking Alistiar, she would have a better chance at not getting hit. She lifted her blade again and slashed at the back of one of the smaller creatures, and when it turned its attention to her, she sliced the creature’s head clear off of its shoulders. A volley of arrows – accompanied by a shrill shout of horror from Daveth – slammed through her next target, and Ileanna was forced to turn her attention back to the mage Darkspawn that had hit her earlier.

                Alistair gave a battle cry that was almost embarrassing to hear before he launched himself forward again, slashing through one of the smaller creatures on his way to the mage. Ileanna and Jory followed behind him, the former limping slightly to alleviate the pain in her side. Daveth adjusted his position but stayed behind, loosing ever more arrows into the targets that Alistair marked with his blade.

                With the mage, there were two more hulking figures, one of them armored so heavily that Ileanna was glad she could no longer see its horrific face underneath the helmet that it wore. Alistair went for this one first, giving a shout for Ileanna and Jory to take care of the one with magic before assisting him.

                The Darkspawn must have understood the command to some degree, however, for he turned back toward Ileanna again, lifting his staff for another command. Ileanna was loathe to reveal her wounded side to the creature again, but she lifted her shield once more, slamming the metal against the creature to disrupt his casting. Jory swooped down, and with a blow from him and a few surprisingly well-placed arrows from Daveth, the creature would no longer be getting back to its feet.

                A shout of pain from Alistair drew Ileanna’s attention back to the Warden. The great beast that he was fighting had managed to pin him to the ground beneath his shield. It was with a sudden jolt that Ileanna realized the Wardens were not completely infallible, and that it was up to her and her fellow recruits to save Alistair, lest they might lose him before their Joining even began.

                Quieter than she had expected herself to be, Ileanna smashed her shield against the creature’s side, adrenaline rushing through her body as the creature parried the following blow from her sword. She’d taken its attention from Alistair completely by the time that she realized she had made a mistake in engaging it on her own. The thing hefted its massive axe, however, completely unguarded and open. Again, Ileanna raised her shield, holding it above her in an attempt to block whatever blow might come from the best, and ran her sword through a crease in the midsection of the beast’s armor. It was surprised to say the least, as the Darkspawn let its axe fall away from it, giving Ileanna enough time to dig her blade in deeper, twisting it. The creature gave a horrible cry when she ripped her sword from its belly, and though it tried to lurch for its axe, she gave it no time, with a well place stab into its throat.

                When the creature fell from her blade, there was finally silence. Ileanna looked down to Alistair and was surprised to see anger in his eyes, though a little bit relieved to note that he also looked more than a little bit impressed with the skill of his recruits.

                “Don’t do something like that again.” The Warden stated as Ileanna helped him to his feet. “Engaging an alpha on your own is stupid enough for a Warden, but an untrained recruit?” Still, though, he clapped her on the shoulder and gave her a brief grin. “Well done, just don’t let it happen again, not until you’ve had more experience against the beasts.” As he spoke, Alistair pulled out three empty vials from his bag, handing them out to Ileanna, Jory, and Daveth, once he rejoined them.

                “The big ones are Hurlocks,” the Warden continued, gesturing to the few massive creatures that they had felled. “They’re not as careful and can be easily spotted, but what they lack in cunning is made up for in brute strength. The little ones are Genlocks, and though they’re strong, they’re better at hiding and moving around quickly. They’re mostly scouts and rogues, the tricky little bastards.” He paused, and looked around to the recruits. “Gather what you need for your Joining, I’m going to make sure that there are no more of them.”

                When he walked away, Ileanna bent down to the apparent Alpha she had just taken down. Dark, tainted blood welled from its throat and from the hole that she had made in its stomach. Disgusted, and not wanting to get any of the tainted blood on her skin while she worked, Ileanna put the vial Alistair had handed her to the thing’s neck, filling it with what she thought would be enough blood and putting the cork back on. When she stood back up, Daveth and Jory were handing Alistair their filled vials and he placed them gently back into his pack. Not for the first time, Ileanna wondered silently over why they needed Darkspawn blood, but didn’t bring it up. The Wardens had their reasons, and she wasn’t in the position to question them.

                The four of them stood in silence, Alistair looking to the south.

                “The abandoned fortress that Duncan mentioned is just this way.” The Warden broke the silence first, pointing in the general direction that he had been looking to. “Come on, then. Good work, all of you.”

                It was the first time that Ileanna had been commended for anything since before Highever, and she couldn’t help but beam at the Warden, even though she was sure he didn’t see it. She followed silently, however, wondering still about the blood and the Joining and what Duncan could possibly want with documents in an abandoned fortress in the Korcari Wilds.

                The recruit didn’t have long to ponder these thoughts, however, for as soon as they entered the ruins of the fort, Alistair let out a loud oath to the Maker. There was a chest there, but the thing was broken and no doubt had formerly been carrying what we were looking for. Documents. Important documents that were apparently desperately needed that were kept in a chest in decaying ruins. The Wardens were ancient, but Ileanna hadn’t realized how much so until then.

                “Well, well, well,” A female voice stole Ileanna’s attention away from the desecrated artifact. “What _do_ we have here? A vulture, I wonder, scavenging a corpse whose bones are long since clean?”


	6. Morrigan

Ileanna was too afraid to turn around and face the new speaker, half expecting it to be one of the demented Darkspawn that they had just faced down. But no, that was impossible and the voice was a little too sultry for what she imagined a Darkspawn might sound like. Indeed, when she finally whipped around – the quickly rotting wound in her side burning with the action – Ileanna found herself almost face to face with a rather attractive young woman. She was a little under dressed for the cool weather of the swamp, but was otherwise clean of the taint of the Blight, surprisingly enough. Despite her appearance, however, Ileanna had a number of misgivings about the woman.

            “What’s this?” The woman spoke again, her eyebrows raised with her question. “A hen and her chicks? Or three wolves robbing the roost?” She glanced at the three other men behind Ileanna, giving a short laugh as they straightened and faced her, one by one. “But all four robbing an empty grave.”

            Ileanna was the first to speak. “We are Grey Wardens,” She stated. Not an outright lie, but not entirely the truth on her behalf. “Or at least… we will be.” Somehow, she felt obligated to tell the truth to this strange woman. “My name is Ileanna Cousland, and these are my companions, whose names they will give own their own. We’ve come here for the Grey Warden treaties that were once in this fortress. We did not mean to intrude if this is your home…?” Though the action of speaking hurt her burning side, Ileanna bit the inside of her cheek to keep it from showing.

            The woman gave another short laugh, leaning on her staff casually while she observed the group. “What you seek, little hen, is no longer here,” she replied. “But you have sown me a kindness and politeness in your name and station, so I shall give you mine.” The woman bowed her head in a polite gesture of thanks. “I am Morrigan, and these Wilds are my home.”

            Daveth’s words finally cut through the silence of the three men. “She’s a Witch of the Wilds!” he accused in a loud whisper. He and Jory – and even Alistair to some degree – shifted into guard stance, their hands hovering over their weapons. “She’ll turn us into toads and put us in a stew!” He shifted back a few paces, close to drawing his bow.

            Ileanna stood her ground, however, no more afraid of witches than she was of traitor soldiers or ghouls in crypts. Not after Darkspawn. Neither was she willing to fight, as the wound in her side pulsed with pain and the rot of corrupting magics. She adjusted the shield on her side, looking back to Morrigan, noticing that the woman was looking at the guarded wound with interest, though neither of them spoke for an extended moment.

            “A brave young woman, burning with the corruption of Darkspawn magic and shouldering the weight on a shield.” Morrigan stepped forward, looking over Illeana’s shoulder to glare at the three men behind her. “Braver, even, than a Grey Warden and two recruits, who hide behind her like scared pups.” She scoffed before looking back to Ileanna. “My mother saved your documents many years ago. I will take you to her, if you are willing.”

            When Ileanna turned to consult with her group, she no longer felt the need to hide the pain in her side. The recruit grimaced instead, and unsheathed her sword to lean on. “I don’t think we have much of a choice here,” she stated. Looking between her companions. “Duncan told you to get the treaties, Alistair, and Morrigan’s mother is the best shot we have.”

            Alistair stepped forward, removing the shield from his recruit’s side and earning a hiss of pain from the young woman. He sucked in a breath at the sight of the damage that had been done over such a short time. The skin already appeared to be rotting, and her blood was thick and black where it seeped out of the wound. He took out another poultice and set of bandages, patching her gently as he had done for the scout. “I don’t like it,” he stated as he worked, frowning while he smoothed the powder over the wound once he had cleaned the oozing blood away as best as he could. “But you’re right, it’s the only lead we have and we need those treaties.”

            As the only actual Warden in the group, what Alistair said was what went. He let Ileanna replace the shield over her now-bandaged wound, relieved that he could see some of the pain go from her expression. The ex-Templar stood, again, grimaced in Morrigan’s direction, and nodded to her.            

            “Lead the way, Witch.”

The discussion with Flemeth was strange at best, and though Ileanna understood very little of it, she fathered that the woman was a witch of legend with the longevity of a dragon and the wit of a senile old woman. That being said, she was pleasant enough to the Wardens in her own sort of guarded way, and had given them the treaties that they needed and an escort to the edge of the Wilds. The meeting may have been pleasant enough, but Ileanna was glad to be back at camp Ostagar where she could finally get proper healing, and maybe find the scout she had met in the Wilds. Once they were back, Alistair directed Daveth and Jory to give Duncan the blood filled vials while he took Ileanna’s arm over his shoulder and led her to the mages.

            “For an ex-Templar, you were pretty civil with Morrigan and her mother,” Ileanna gave a weak, short laugh, gripping her side when the action hurt too badly. “I thought you were the ‘smite first and ask questions later’ kind of guy.”

            Only glad that his recruit was actually able to keep speaking, Alistair gave a short chuckle in return, careful not to jostle her too much. “Well, you started chatting her up, so there wasn’t much that I could do.” He replied as they approached the mages. The old woman Wynne was there first, and soon – amidst a flurry of healing magic cast by a number of mages, Alistair realized that he was no longer needed at the recruit’s side.

            The Warden found his commander where he had been earlier. Duncan sat before the fire next to his tent, the blood vials in his hand, though Daveth and Jory were already gone.

            “The treaties,” Alistair said, holding out the documents to the older Warden as he sat down beside him. “Strangely enough, in the hands of the Witch of the Wilds, by the way, not in the fortress.” He held his hands out to the fire, finding them strangely cold after the events of the day. “Fergus Cousland is dead.” He stated, far too easily and flatly for his tastes. He spoke like they were discussing the weather, while the last remaining Cousland was being put back together just meters away. “Dragged off by the Darkspawn.” Alistair cast a glance over his shoulder when he heard a cry of pain from where the mages were stationed. “She sustained heavy damage from an Emissary, and still took down an Alpha on her own.”

            A sigh escaped from Duncan’s lips, but when he heard the younger Warden speak of their recruit’s deeds, his eyes widened in shock. “You let her take on an Alpha by herself?” he asked, his voice filled with a mix of wonder and upset. “None of you are ready for that!”

            Alistair shook his head, his cheeks tinging pink in embarrassment. He knew that Duncan would react this way, but he knew he had to tell the older man anyway. “It had me pinned down, and after she, Jory, and Daveth took down the Emissary, she just… took over,” he explained. “I don’t know what was going through her head, but she took it down faster than I could have expected from anyone, let alone a recruit not trained to fight them. Especially after her side was nearly taken out by their mage.”

            “She has faced far more than any young woman of her kind, Alistair,” Duncan reminded the junior Warden. “I imagine that, on top of the loss of her parents, the death of her brother – especially since she had no control over it as she had with her mother and father – she feels that she has nothing left to lose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Sorry it took so long, folks! I haven't had the will to write this in a while, but now it feels much better doing so. And I also apologize for the focus on the wound, I just realized that I forgot to mention it again at the end of the last chapter so I felt that I had to overcompensate. 
> 
> Hurray, corruption!


	7. Recuperating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truth be told, I didn't actually spend half so much time editing this chapter as I have the previous, so I apologize wholeheartedly for the bounty of errors that I've probably made. It's approaching finals week and I want to die, but I just couldn't stop writing. Still, sorry that it's so butts.

It was hours before anyone heard from the mages on the status of the newest recruit. The wardens were antsy, and Daveth and Jory were more than nervous and wishing to get their joining over with. Each of the recruits paced near the mage alcove, joined by Alistair and Duncan occasionally. Not one of them spoke, and every so often a mage would glare at them from the inner circle that were tending to the Cousland’s wounds. Once, they were even graced with the presence of the wounded scout that they had found in the Wilds, and though he appeared better, he was soon chased down by a Chantry sister that demanded his presence back on the cot he had been resting in.

            When they were finally notified of Ileanna’s status it was by Wynne, who approached them with a somber smile on her face.

            “You’ll be glad to know that she’ll make it through the night.” The mage told them. “She’s resting right now. Some of the skin had to be taken off and she lost a lot of blood to the corruption so we had to take more out of her. The skin is growing back and should be better within the night, and she’ll be able to walk and talk and fight at the same time if necessary.” Wynne gave them all a smile, and a sigh of relief passed through all of the gathered Wardens and recruits.

            Duncan seemed most relieved of all of them, though. “Thank you, Wynne,” he smiled at her, bowing his head in thanks. “I don’t know what we would have done if we lost another recruit before the Joining.”

            Within the next few moments the gathered dispersed and when Ileanna woke in the next hour the only person there to greet her was Wynne. She smiled at the woman, sitting up carefully so that she wouldn’t disrupt the healing that was taking place on her side.

            “Thank you,” Ileanna spoke after she was situated and sitting up, happy that there was finally no painful pulling of rotten skin when she did so. “I owe you my life.”

            “Take no care, child,” Wynne smiled at the young woman, taking Ileanna’s hands in her own. “You were doing good work out there, and it seems that your heroics saved the lives of Alistair and the other recruits.” She smiled encouragingly, and though Ileanna was by no means completely healed, she felt infinitely better just being in the presence of the woman. “You’ll be well enough to walk around by now, but you’ll want to take it easy, do you understand? I don’t want you going around killing any Darkspawn until at least tomorrow, okay?”

            Ileanna nodded gratefully, and with Wynne’s help she was able to stand from the cot and shuffle a few steps before she was walking on her own. “Thank you so much, Wynne,” she stated, grinning at the older woman. “What other mages helped?”

            “Mostly everyone, but you don’t have to be concerned with that right now, they are busy preparing your Joining, as I understand it.” Wynne nodding in the direction of a circle of mages that were busily enchanting something.

            Ileanna thanked her again before Wynne saw her off to Duncan’s tent where the young woman found her fellow recruits and Warden superiors. Duncan sat at the head of their small gathering, telling some story or another that Daveth, Jory, Alistair, and – to Ileanna’s immense surprise and pleasure – Lady were all enjoying wholeheartedly. Lady was the first to notice her mistress’ return, and when she turned her head and panted happily, Alistair was the second to find Ileanna standing in the shadows of the camp, her arm covering her neatly bandaged wound.

            The junior Warden stood, grinning. “You’re awake!” He shouted happily as Lady bounded over to Ileanna and Duncan cut off his story to find who was there. “Welcome back, Lady Cou-“ He paused, clearing his throat. “Ileanna.”

            Grinning, Ileanna stepped forward and knelt down to be level with Lady, patting the mabari happily on her chops and behind her ears. The recruit let her hound sniff at the bandages and lick them gently, but was all at once reminded of the hounds that were holed up in the kennels, sick with Blight poisoning.

            “What happened to the flower that we found in the Wilds?” she asked Alistair, her voice heavy with worry. “Did the kennel master get it? Are the hounds okay?”

            Alistair knelt down beside the reunited hound and master, smiling between both and offering Lady a happy pat on the side. “The hounds are doing better after the kennel master gave them a mixture from the flower. We got it to him right after I gave the treaties to Duncan,” he added reassuringly. “Now come on, you must be starving and Duncan was just telling everybody about his Joining.”

\---

Ileanna had a blessed night to recuperate before the next morning. Duncan had spent a good portion of the evening regaling them all with stories of his younger days in the Wardens and his nearly scandalous exploits that Ileanna never would have guessed were true. There were fewer Darkspawn around then, but the Wardens were still a family of warriors that had done a great deal more for Thedas than Ileanna had known – caused a great number of problems as well. Duncan told them about how he had met and befriended Maric Theirin, told them about the first time he had fought Darkspawn, and about the Brotherhood that permeated the Wardens. Sometimes they would ask questions like small children ready to learn, and sometimes even Alistair would give answers.

            Many went to sleep that night happier than when they had come back from the Wilds. Daveth and Jory bid them all good night first, and though Ileanna was dreading closing her eyes again she stood to leave shortly afterwards. When she turned to go to her tent however, Alistair took her wrist and turned her to sit back down beside them. With the two Wardens staring her down, Ileanna could hardly imagine what trouble she was in.

            “Did I do something?” the recruit asked, frowning before she realized what they must be onto her about. “Oh no,” she flushed a deep, embarrassed red. “Is this about the Alpha?” she asked, clearing her throat. She reached up to rub the back of her head, embarrassed already at her rash actions. “Look, I wasn’t just going to let Alistiar get taken out. What would have happened to Daveth, Jory and-“

            “Lady Cousland, please,” Duncan held up his hand and gave her a soft, sad smile that only made the young woman’s heart sink into her stomach. She didn’t even make a move to correct his use of her now useless title. “We just want to make sure that you will be well enough to continue.” Duncan leaned forward, concern still on his face. “You have been through so much in just a few days alone.”

            Ileanna took a deep breath, preparing herself to answer in the face of their concern. “I will be well enough to continue with my Joining.” She assured them, though she was no longer sure of this herself. “Moreover, I do not think that there is anything else that can surprise me, sir.” She stood again, grateful that Alistair made no more move to stop her this time, and nodded to both of them before turning toward her tent. “Good night commander, Alistair.”

\---

When she woke up next, Ileanna’s side no longer burned, but her heart was heavy with the thought of her lost family and the conversations that she would have to have that day. She would speak with Teryn Loghain, and possibly King Cailan if she had the chance. Technically she very well was Teryna of Highever, as Cailan had made it very clear he did not recognize the treachery of Howe, but she wanted to confirm with the other Teryn at least that he would support her in the acquisition of her lands. As she donned her armor, she entertained the thought of holding her own land again, but the thoughts led her to the larder and her parent’s bodies being desecrated and not properly given to the Maker.

            But since her armor was rendered practically useless by the battle from the day before, Ileanna was able to put off the dreaded conversations further by taking a visit to the quartermaster instead. She had briefly met the man before their tryst into the Wilds, and he was an angry old Ferelden that had nothing good to say about his workers, but he was good at mending armor, for what it was worth.

            When her armor was in his hands, she had killed far less time than she had originally set out for. With nothing left to distract her, however, Ileanna set out for the Teryn’s tent. She had met the man before on a number of occasions at Landsmeets her father had taken her to, and though he had appeared an amiable man when she was a young girl, Ileanna felt horribly bare standing in front of his tent without any of her armor, and the fear of him began to seep in.

            The Teryn met her with a frown on his face that appeared terminal, doing nothing to alleviate her nerves. He stared down at her, and when she didn’t speak – either in fear of him or in unwillingness to recognize the tragedies she had faced – he reached out to place a hand on her shoulder.

            “I’m truly sorry about your brother,” he stated, managing to offer her a sad smile. “If ther was anything we could do for him, my lady, I’m certain we would, but the Spawn have him now.” At the look this earned him from the young woman, Loghain’s expression softened. “When all of this business is over, we’ll all make sure that Highever is in the right hands.”

            Though the conversation had not gone exactly as she planned, Ileanna felt strangely soothed by the Teryn’s words when she left his tent to go find the king’s. She was greeted there by a pleasant enough looking guard who gave her a bow that may have been just a bit too shallow, though she ignored the slight indecency. He had probably been on guard all night and day, and besides this she would have to get used to not being a young Lady for much longer.

            “I’m sorry, Lady Cousland,” the guard said to her before she could ask after the king. “King Cailan is with the Grey Wardens in their camp.” He gave her an apologetic smile and another short bow. “I’m sure Warden-Commander Duncan will pass on any information that you wish to relate to the King.”

            Defeated, Ileanna bade the guard good day and made her way throughout the camp. She came across the kennels where the hound master finally had the chance to thank her for the flower that helped the mabari at least a little bit, apparently. She saw Lady there, making friends with one of the other hounds and gently pat her head before continuing on. Alistiar was smacking at a training dummy while a few other men Ileanna didn’t recognize goaded him on. She guessed that they were Wardens too, from their armor, though she hadn’t met them before.

            When Alistair saw her he turned to give her a wave despite the fact that he was in mid swing and effectively smacked himself in the head with the pommel of his sword. The other wardens laughed openly at him, and though Ileanna’s cheeks burned embarrassed for him she gave him a short wave in return. The gathered senior wardens whistled at him and goaded but Alistair paid them no mind, instead flinging himself into his training once again while Ileanna hastened away from the group.

            Duncan’s tent was regrettably empty when Ileanna went to visit him, and though she was put off by this, she couldn’t help but ask herself what she would tell him, either. Would she have even been able to ask him about King Cailan? Then the thought occurred to her that the king probably already knew about her brother’s death and wouldn’t be able to give her any more than his condolences, as he had done with the news of Howe’s treachery and the murder of her parents.

            Feeling useless and more than a little put off, Ileanna returned to the quartermaster some time later and retrieved her armor before going to meet Alistair at the training dummies. She entertained the thought of sparring with him, and hopefully catching him off guard enough to amuse the other wardens as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have also noticed that this is now part of a series! I have a feeling that my DA works will all be related somehow or another and little ideas for drabbles and the such pop up here and there while I'm trying to do homework, so I figured I might as well just make it a series and include any offshoots of it. There's probably going to be a bountiful number of AUs cropping up, especially if I replay Origins again, so I figured I might as well just go ahead and make it a series.
> 
> Thank you all for staying with me :)


	8. The Joining

After successfully knocking Alistair down a few notches, Ileanna sat with the junior warden, Daveth, and Jory at lunch once again. Alistair had a bruised shoulder and quite the bruised ego from the laughter of his fellow Wardens that ensued once Ileanna had reached down to help him up after she knocked him over.

            “Where did you even learn to fight like that?” he asked, rubbing his shoulder and rotating it so it wouldn’t lock. “I mean, I had to train from Templars and I’m not that tricky.”

            Ileanna gave a laugh and offered him some bread when they all sat at a bench in the mess tent. “It was a collective effort between my father and Ser Gilmore,” she replied, forcing herself to not be saddened by their mention. “Father started my training early, against my mother’s wishes. He always went on about how Cousland women were fiercer than their men, and he was right, I guess. When Ser Gilmore came to train under my father as well, the first thing my father did was pit me against him in a sparring match.” She grinned at their collective surprise. “I knocked him on his ass and from then on we were training buddies. So don’t worry, you’re not the first one. I used to do it to Fergus, too, and…” Ileanna sighed. “I guess now I get to trick fight Darkspawn.”

            There was a moment of silence throughout the gathered group and Ileanna instantly felt awful for bringing down the amusement of all of them, but Daveth quickly started telling a tale of his exploits before he was conscripted, and Ileanna was grateful for the distraction that it gave while they all passed around food. The four of them swapped stories over lunch until they broke up to go their separate ways.

            There was an air of anxiety throughout the whole of camp over the coming battle and the approaching horde. It was clearly visible now though it was a good way off, and Ileanna found distractions wherever she could that day. With the bandages finally off her healed side and the only marking there to remind her of the Wilds was the tender scar of new skin. She spent time training with Lady at her side, and before she knew it night had fallen and Alistair had gathered her and the other recruits together at the steps she had met him on. They were all stretched thin with anxiousness over the nature of their Joining, and when Ileanna saw that it was only Duncan waiting for them, standing in front of a sort of table which supported an old looking chalice, she almost laughed at her own stress.

            “This is it?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at the Commander when they arrived at the top of the steps.

            “I’m afraid not, Ileanna,” Duncan replied, his expression more sorrowful than she thought necessary. “We Wardens pay a high price to be what we are. You may have to pay that now, rather than later.” He took a breath, letting this sink in, and before anyone could interrupt he continued. “As any Darkspawn that you have or may face, this ritual may end your lives, but you were all chosen for your particular strength and the chance you may survive, yet.”

            A moment of silence passed before Daveth spoke up. “Let’s get it on with, then,” he nodded to the chalice in front of Duncan, and Jory made a sound of agreement, though he didn’t looked convinced. “I’m curious as to what all this is.”

            Ileanna could see on Jory’s face that he was more anxious than the others. Though he had agreed when Daveth spoke, she could see the misgivings he had about the ritual written clearly in his apprehensive expression. She offered him a small, encouraging smile. “It will be alright, Jory,” she whispered in assurance. “Just calm down, okay?”

            “I have a wife in Highever who is _with child_ ,” he argued, and Ileanna wanted to tell him that she once had a family in Highever as well, but she kept her mouth shut. They were going to be Wardens, now, and that was all that mattered. “If I’d been warned that this could kill us, I would have never-“

            “They didn’t warn you because you wouldn’t have come.” Daveth shot back, illustrating a surprising amount of reason and wisdom. “The Wardens do what they have to do.”

            “Including killing us?” Jory asked, glaring at Duncan.

            “And wouldn’t you die to protect your wife from the Darkspawn, anyway?” Ileanna asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. Jory had been companionable at first, but his sudden nervous change put his true colors in full light. He was a coward, apparently, and the noncommittal noise that came from his throat when she accused him made her brow slide into a glare, instead. He would wimp out of the war, even if it meant leaving his wife to the Darkspawn.

            Duncan cleared his throat, drawing their attention again. “Enough arguing,” he started a little harshly, causing Ileanna and Daveth to snap to attention, though Jory still showed his misgivings clear as day. “The Grey Wardens were founded during the first Blight when humanity was on the verge of extinction. And so it was that the first Wardens drank of Darkspawn blood and mastered the taint.”

            His words shot through Ileanna, turning the blood in her veins to ice. So this was why they had collected the blood in the Wilds. Jory scoffed, taking a step back from their gathered circle, and even Daveth looked between his new friends for confirmation that he wasn’t going insane. Ileanna met his eyes and nodded, she had heard it too.

            “We’re going to drink those creatures’ blood?” Jory asked, the fear in his voice palpable in the area between them.

            “As the first Wardens did, as we did,” Duncan added, gesturing between he and Alistair. “So shall you. This is the source of our power and victory.”

            Calming as ever, Alistair nodded his head. “Those who survive become immune to the taint, can sense it in the Darkspawn, and can use it to slay the Archdemon.” He looked between the gathered recruits that he had fought with in the Wilds. “It is an invaluable source of power, and Wardens can use it to end wars and stop Blights.”

            Ileanna cleared her throat, pushing her fear down. She had nothing left to lose anymore, and would welcome death in the face of the Joining or the Darkspawn, if it meant being with her family once again. “Let’s get it over with, then…”

            “Be wary that of those who drink the blood, only few survive, and those who do will be forever changed.” Duncan replied, gesturing to the chalice that sat on the table between them. “We speak only a few words prior to the Joining, but they have been said since the First.” The commander nodded to Alistair. “Would you?”

            Alistair stepped forward, and his voice was like a balm on Ileanna’s severed nerves. “Join us, brothers and sister,” He spoke, and Ileanna could hear the years of Templar training in his calm demeanor. “Join us in the shadows where we stand, vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that cannot be forsworn, and should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten and that one day we shall join you.”

            From the corner of her eye, Ileanna could see Jory glance nervously between Alistair and the chalice that stood between them all like a terrifying beacon of their impending doom. They straightened collectively, however, Alistair’s words acting as a string to pull them all to attention.

            “Daveth, step forward,” Duncan spoke after a moment of silence fell over all of them. He took the chalice and stepped toward the recruit, offering it to him.

            Daveth took the chalice and drank from it more bravely than Ileanna had guessed that he would, and handed it back to Duncan. There was a tense silence that fell over all of them while they waited for any indication of what would happen, but it lasted for only a moment. The archer cried out in pain, gripping his stomach and his head as he fell to his knees in some unseen agony that had Ileanna and Jory skittering back from him as though he had suddenly burst in flames. His eyes turned in his head, the irises lost as he slumped forward, the rejected blood leaking from his mouth. His cries lasted only a moment longer before he lay prostrate on the ground in front of them, dead from a hidden agony that may take them as well.

            Duncan sighed, the loss of another recruit laying heavily on his shoulders. “I am sorry, Daveth.” He spoke quietly, calmly, but wasted no more time in turning toward the next recruit. “Step forward, Jory.” He stated.

            But Jory could do nothing besides retreat, his hands before him as though he could possibly ward the Commander away. “No!” He shouted, drawing his sword. “I have a wife! A- A child! Had I known-“

            “You cannot turn back.” Duncan said, nearly backing the knight into the wall. He still held the chalice, but Ileanna’s eyes flashed with worry to the greatsword in Jory’s hands. Duncan was a strong man, and a good Commander, but Jory was much younger and his sword _much_ larger.

            “No!” The recruit denied again, holding his sword out before him still. “You ask too much, there is no honor in this!” As Duncan set down the chalice, he drew his blade, Jory leaped forward, but his youth worked against him now, as well as his lack of training compared to the Commander. Duncan’s blade sank deep into the recruit as an apology fell from his lips.

            Ileanna jumped back, her eyes wide, but she was unable to speak as Jory fell to the ground, the blood pooling around him while Duncan retrieved the chalice once more. She backed away from Duncan, looking to Alistair for help. Though the other warden seemed just as surprised at his commander’s actions, he could offer her no sympathy. She was in this to the end, she knew, but after seeing Duncan cut through Jory like cheese, she could hardly breathe, let along imagine taking a drink of Darkspawn blood.

            “The Joining is not yet complete.” Duncan stated, turning toward Ileanna and holding out the chalice. “Ileanna, you are called upon to submit yourself to the taint for the greater good,” he said. Ileanna reached out to take the chalice with shaky hands, and Duncan stepped back from her to measure her reaction. The recruit stared into the contents of the chalice in fear, only barely hearing Duncan’s next words. “Drink, and be one of us.”

            Her hands still shaking from the horrors she had witnessed, Ileanna took a shuddering breath before lifting the chalice to her lips and taking a pull of the blood. It burned in her throat and down to her stomach, causing it to churn and roll inside of her. She felt like she would be sick, and though her head ached beyond anything she had felt before and her eyes rolled back, she remained conscious. She fell to her knees, however, and just as she thought she may be able to make it, she heard Duncan above her say something that sounded as though he were sorry for her loss, but she could hardly make out his words before blacking out.

\---

_In the darkness Ileanna could see horrifying faces – same as the creatures that she had fought before and worse, and ahead of them all was the most terrible of all of the gathered horrors. A giant, speaking to her in a language that she could not know despite the fact that she somehow did, with the horrible face of a demented dragon. She knew before she had to think that this was the face of an Archdemon, and try as they might the screams that attempted to rip from her throat would not come out. The monster was horrifying, and she could practically smell the rot of the taint on its breath as it roared at her, and taste the decay that it seemed to wear as a cloak. This was a creature with an ancient soul that was marred by the hubris of men. A creature that could now only destroy those who had wrought this evil upon it…_

_\---_

Though it felt like she had been out for hours, when Ileanna woke she could see that the sky was still dark and the moon still in its place. The bodies that had been the result of her Joining were cast aside, and Duncan and Alistair both leaned over her shaking form, concern on both of their faces. She felt different, could hear the voices of the taint in her head, and could smell it to a small degree on both of the Wardens before her, though it was nothing like it had been on the creature in her ngihtmares.

            “It is finished,” Duncan spoke and she could hear the relief in his voice. He smiled down at the new Warden, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. “Welcome, Ileanna, to the Grey Wardens.”

            “Two recruits dead,” Alistair sighed, reaching down to hold his hand out for Ileanna. “In my Joining, only one of us died, but… it was horrible,” he said as he helped her up, giving her a short, sad smile. “I’m glad at least one of you made it through.”

            Ileanna brushed herself off, swallowing in a last attempt to cool off her burning throat. She felt like she had just drank fire, and her body ached, but still she could at least move and she wasn’t laying there like Daveth and Jory, forgotten now that at least one recruit made it through.

            “How do you feel?” Duncan asked, looking at her apprehensively, as though he hadn’t seen a recruit pass their Joining in a long time, though Ileanna was sure he had at least been to Alistair’s in the past few years. “Are you alright, Miss Cousland?”

            “Fine, I think,” Ileanna replied, though her voice sounded just as bad as her throat felt, hoarse with the burning aftermath of her Joining. “But… you killed Ser Jory…” The new Warden looked over at her fallen companions, finally allowing herself to feel sick at the sight of them. From Daveth she could feel the mark of the taint, though it had taken him now, but Jory… Her stomach churched when she looked back to Duncan, the question in her eyes. “How… Why?”

            “You were all warned that there was no turning back, Ileanna.” Duncan reminded her, and before she could interrupt he continued. “I didn’t want to, but as soon as he drew his blade Ser Jory gave me little choice. It is a shame, really. The Blight takes so many lives, demands so much, and I would have liked nothing more than to see him pass the Joining.” Duncan gave her a small, sad smile, and Ileanna was reminded once again of the man she had come to know on their travels between Highever and Ostagar. A kind, benevolent man who liked aimless killing just about as much as he liked the Darkspawn… “I am glad that you at least stand here as proof that not all of our sacrifices are made in vain.”

            Grateful for at least this small praise, Ileanna offered a smile in return, though she was not sure what words would betray her if she opened her mouth.

            “How were your dreams?” Alistair asked. “I had terrible nightmares after my Joining, but don’t worry. Those come with the package of sensing Darkspawn.” He offered her an apologetic smile and shrug, but she at least felt better now that she knew that her vision hadn’t been an isolated incident. When he could tell that she wasn’t comfortable enough to reply, he continued as though he hadn’t even asked. “Everything that happens to you now will be explained soon, though.” Alistair smiled, clapping his fellow Warden on the shoulder. After a pointed glance from Duncan, the junior Warden nearly jumped out of his boots. “I almost forgot,” He hastened, patting around the satchel at his side. “One last part to the Joining…”

            When he held out his hand to Ileanna, the young woman was startled to find a necklace there, a small red pendant hung from a chain that had the gryphon of the Wardens etched across it. “A pendant, filled with some of the blood from the Joining, to remind us of those who didn’t make it…”

            Ileanna took the pendant carefully, a little alarmed when it felt warm in her hand. She held it in her palm for a moment, but before she could clasp it behind her neck, Duncan stepped forward, laying his hand on her shoulder gently.

            “Take some time, my lady,” he stated. “When you’re ready, I would like you and Alistair to accompany me to a meeting.”

            Saying nothing more, Duncan strode down the steps and headed toward a light in the distance that Ileanna could not make out. She watched him go for a moment longer before turning back toward where her fallen fellow recruits were lying, facing the sky, their eyes closed now, she noticed gratefully. Ileanna was surprised to see Alistair still there, standing between her and the bodies. She had expected him to leave with Duncan, and yet…

            “Here we are…” The junior Warden gave a short, humorless laugh. “You know, I’m glad that you made it through, Ileanna.” He added after a moment, his voice softer than before. “Not that I’m glad that the others didn’t, but… You know…” He trailed off embarrassed, clearing his throat.

            “Thanks, Alistair,” Ileanna almost laughed in response, but she couldn’t find it in herself to do so. Her throat still hurt, and her heart ached for all of the loss she had faced in the past few weeks. She gripped the pendant in her hand tighter for a moment before holding it out to the other Warden. “Would you mind?” she asked, indicating to her neck where she wore nothing else but a necklace her father had given her when she was a child. “It seems as though I’m collecting jewelry now…”

            Alistair gave another short laugh, but said nothing when he took the pendant from her. Ileanna held her hair out of the way while he moved behind her, fumbling with the clasp of the pendant before he was finally able to secure it with a short triumphant noise in the back of his throat.

            “There we go.” He stated, and when Ileanna turned to face him she gave him a smile of thanks.

            They stood there for a moment longer, Ileanna recuperating from the Joining while Alistair lingered, unsure of what to do. She felt safer now, truly, but the thought of her nightmares after drinking from the chalice reminded her of the oncoming horde and the meeting that she and Alistair should probably have already been at by then.

            Ileanna gestured down the steps, clearing her throat. “Uh, we should-“

            “Yeah.” Alistair agreed, nodding a little too vigorously. “Right, it’s just at that light there.”

            The two took off down the steps together, at least an arm’s length apart, but Ileanna was glad that she knew she had at least one friend among the Wardens who was seemingly worse with social graces than she was.


	9. The Meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize. I very well should have edited this further, but it's dead week and I've got four papers to write that I just can't seem to get out even though I'm slacking and writing fanfiction. Truth be told this was written a while ago and I've had it sitting here to edit for a while but I just couldn't bring myself to read through it. I'm sorry folks, I promise I'll get better. Thanks for sticking with me - Sam <3

The walk to the meeting was surprisingly short, though they had to stop at least once when Ileanna’s nausea finally caught up with her and she nearly fell to the ground. Luckily the taste of the blood was gone, and Alistair was quick enough to hold her hair back so that none of it would get messy while she was sick. Her throat burned, though, and her eyes stung with tears that poured quick and hot down her cheeks. She was sure that she could have held that in longer, and the feeling of weakness that had been haunting her since Highever, though it had left her in the moments after her Joining where she was proudly triumphant, finally returned. Alistair pat her back gently when she was well enough to raise to her knees and rinse her mouth out from her canteen.

            “You held that in longer than I did,” Alistair joked, turning his back on Ileanna so that she could have a moment of privacy to clean herself and recover. “Remarkable, really, I was on my knees the second Duncan turned us all away.”

            Though she was sure that she should have been relieved by the comparison, it only proved to mortify the new Warden further. She _could_ have held it in, if she kept it in that long. She could have at least kept some of her dignity… But no, she would have to take the compliment for what it was, and she offered Alistair a gentle laugh and a small thanks, though she was sure he knew that she didn’t mean it.

            When she was ready, the two wardens started off again, the lights they had seen in the distance coming closer. Ileanna could hear the arguing voices of the King and the Teryn, and when they approached she could see them heatedly discussing their course of action for dealing with the oncoming horde.

            “I must object to this, your majesty, you risk too much in your foolish notions of heroic wars.” Loghain was glaring at the king, and Ileanna was surprised that he could get away with something like this in gathered company. Duncan, the Revered Mother, and a mage that Ileanna had to guess was someone important enough to be there, were all standing there with wide eyes as the Teryn addressed King Cailan as though he were a small child.

            “My decision is final, Loghain, I will be on the front lines with the Wardens in this assault.” The King replied, and though she could still hear hints of the airheaded behavior she had seen when she first arrived, Ileanna could see that he was putting his foot down with the force that only a King could get away with when speaking to Loghain. “But if you truly feel otherwise, then we should wait for the Orlesian forces to arrive, after all.” The King raised a light eyebrow, and Ileanna had to choke back a laugh when Duncan gestured for she and Alistair to join his side.

            Ileanna had heard her father speak on a number of occasions on how much hatred Loghain harbored for the Orlesians. She bit down on her lip to keep herself from laughing, still. King Cailan might not have been such an airhead at all. This was clearly blackmail.

            “Still, I must object to your idea that we need the Orlesians to defend ourseves!” Loghain, finally frustrated beyond himself, turned away from the king, eliciting a quiet gasp from the gathered company.

            Cailan straightened himself, standing tall in his armor. “You will remember who is King,” he stated, his voice reverberating throughout the old stone ruins. The effect was almost instantaneous. Lohgain turned, looking like a struck child, and bowed his head to the King. “Our squabbles with the Orlesians are in the past. Buried.” Though it started as blackmail, Ileanna was surprised to see that Cailan’s arguments were turning out to be a form of diplomacy. “The horde of Darkspawn marching towards us is larger than any army that I have seen. Would you put Ferelden at risk because of your petty grudge against an entire country?”

            Though he had been chastised before, Loghain returned his glare. “How fortunate it is that Maric did not live to see his son practically volunteer Ferelden to the very people that enslaved us for over a century.” He growled, his hands balling to fists at his sides.

            “Then our current forces will have to suffice, won’t they?” Cailan asked, raising a brow at Loghain before turning to Duncan. “Your forces are ready to march, are they not, Duncan?” He asked, all the authority of a king in his voice.

            “They are, your majesty.” Duncan replied, but before he could go any further, the king turned his attention to Ileanna.

            “Lady Cousland,” Cailan smiled at her, and Ileanna bowed appropriately, a dusting of blush on her cheeks. “It is wonderful to have you here. I’m glad you were able to make it through your Joining.” A short, sad smile cut across his face. “Truly, I am sorry for the loss of your brother.”

            The bubbling laughter that had come from the argument from Loghain died in her throat, and when Ileanna raised from her bow she gave Cailan a short smile in return. “Thank you, your majesty,” she started. “I will do what I can to make sure his death was not in vain.” It flared within her that this would mean avenging her family with the Howes as well as with the Darkspawn. The rage that fluttered within Ileanna’s chest was immediate and painful, only quelled by the subtle brush of Alistair’s hand against hers. The moment lasted no longer than that, however, for Cailan launched into his strategy after a few quips from Loghain.

            “Right, the Wardens and I will draw the Darkspawn to our lines, and-“         

            “You will alert the tower to light the beacon so that my forces know when to charge from cover and-“

            “Flank the Darkspawn.” Cailan finished with a nod. “Right, I remember.” He pointed to a marking on the map laid out that Ileanna looked down to curiously. It was in the ruins of the old Ostagar, marked Ishal, and nothing else. “This is the tower of Ishal, in the ruins.” Cailan stated, answering Ileanna’s unspoken question. “Who will light the beacon, then?”

            “I have a few men stationed there.” Loghain answered, almost too quickly for Ileanna’s liking. She glanced up at the man, but there was nothing on the Teryn’s face to betray any emotion. “It’s not too dangerous, but it’s vital.”

            “Then we clearly need our best.” Cailan answered, looking to Duncan. “Send Alistair and Lady Cousland. To make sure it’s done properly.”

            The breath was almost knocked out of Ileanna’s chest. She had barely passed her Joining and had only fought a handful of Darkspawn in her entire life – just the day before, no less. How Cailan considered her one of the best, she didn’t know – perhaps he was just speaking about Alistair, after all. When Ileanna glanced up at her new friend she saw an expression on his face that she couldn’t quite place. When no one was speaking, she glanced at the gathered company, noticing with a start that they were all staring at her.

            “Uh-“ Stupid. Ileanna cleared her throat, alarmed and a put off. “So… We’re _not_ going to be in the battle?” She didn’t just become a Grey Warden for absolutely nothing. The familiar upset rage boiled in her belly, churning the contents there and bringing back the nausea. The new Warden swallowed it down, frowning. “I thought that was the point?”

            “We need the beacon,” Duncan replied, fixing her with an apologetic smile. She understood, then, that he had not planned for this to happen. “Without it, Loghain’s men won’t know when to charge.” It seemed pretty clear to her that they would be able to charge when the Wardens and Cailan’s men were in trouble, but she pushed that thought under the table with the rest of her anger.

            “And there will be glory for everyone.” Cailan smiled between her and Alistair, but his words were taken over by Loghain.

            “You rely on these Wardens too much.” Loghain quickly intercepted the King, placing his hand on the table, as though e might be swearing an oath. Ileanna found it strange that he was so adamant about his men being in the tower, but she shook the notion clear from her head. “Is this truly wise?”

            “Teryn Loghain, please,” Ileanna found her voice, and though Alistair looked startled beside her and Duncan eye’s widened in surprise, the young Cousland paid no regard to it. If all had not gone as it had in Highever, her father and brother would be there right now and she was proud to take their places. She’d been learned in the movement of troops and the strategic positioning of certain peoples, and knew well enough by then to be able to hold her own in a war meeting. Or at least, she thought she did. “Alistair and I are plenty capable. You once saw me take on three of my father’s best men, sparring before a Landsmeet, and just yesterday I singlehandedly put an end to one of the most massive creatures that I have ever seen, in the Wilds.” She straightened, standing her ground in her family’s armor. “Alistair and I make an impeccable team, whatever happens in that tower you can count on us.” Though she was put out at not being in the battle, the King had personally requested their hand in this task. She would see it through with honor, despite her misgivings.

            Loghain looked as though he was about to argue, but Duncan stepped forward, taking control of the situation before anything could get out of hand. “Your majesty,” he spoke quickly, but his tone was calm, however worried. “You should entertain the thought that the Archdemon might appear-“

            “There have been no signs of dragons in the wilds!” Loghain scoffed, shaking his head. “This is preposterous, Cailan.”

            The King frowned looking across the war table to Duncan, and Ileanna could see the Teryn smirk. He had Cailan underneath his thumb and would do anything to keep that control.

            “Isn’t that what your men are here for, Duncan?” Cailan asked, to which the Warden-Commander gave a hasty assurance and a short bow.

            There was a moment of silence before the mage spoke for the first time. “Your majesty, we don’t need the tower, or the beacon.” He claimed. “The Circle of Magi-“

            The Revered Mother was hot on his heels, however, and Ileanna frowned. She had seen this man’s face before among those who had helped her after her wound from the Wilds. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing wrong with the mages that they had gathered here, but the Chantry mother glared at the balding man, her lips set into a deep frown.

            “We’ll not trust any of the gathered lives to your mages.” She responded quickly, shutting the man down. “The Circle is here for the Darkspawn alone, and you will do well to remember that.”

            “Enough!” Loghain declared, glaring down the table at the bickering mage and mother. He paused for a moment, frowning across the table at Alistair and Ileanna. “The Grey Wardens will light the beacon.” He declared after a moment’s thought, too calm compared to his earlier outrage. The king made a sound of triumph, and before Loghain turned away he cast a glance at all of the gathered Wardens. “It shall be a glorious moment for us all.”

\---

When the meeting had been disbanded, a sour taste was left in Ileanna’s mouth. Something had been sitting wrong with her since Loghain’s last words, but after her too-brave interruption into their plans, she was too nervous to speak. Her stomach churned with her anxiety, however, and she felt like she would be sick again if she didn’t say something to anyone at all.

            She and Alistair walked a few paces behind Duncan on the return to his tent, and Ileanna was struck with the sudden wonder that it was the two of them that Duncan had picked to join him at the war table. Sure, she was essentially a replacement for her brother or father, but she and Alistair were still young Wardens…

            “Why did Duncan bring us to the meeting?” She asked Alistair quietly, leaning closer to him so that only he could hear.

            “I don’t know,” Alistair admitted after a moment, frowning in confusion up at his commander. “I mean, you’re the only other option from Highever, and I suppose you could have command of your brother’s troops, if you had claimed it, but besides that… I’m not sure.”

            They were quickly approaching Duncan’s tent, however, and when he turned to face them there was a hard frown on his face that Ileanna was surprised to see there.

            “You heard the King,” he started, his hands clasped behind his back. “You both will go to the tower of Ishal to ensure that the beacon is lit-“

            “I still have qualms about this, Duncan,” Alistair started, frowning. “Why won’t we be in the battle.”

            “This was by the King’s personal request.” Duncan replied quickly, sighing. There was sympathy in his eyes that he cast over the both of them, but she didn’t want to see it. He pitied them, and that made her sick. “I know you wish to fight, but if the beacon is not lit, the Teryn’s men won’t know when to charge.” He sighed, shaking his head. “It does not make sense to me why he needs two Grey Wardens to do this. I know you both have your reasons to want to be in the battle, but if the king wants Wardens to be there with the torch, then that is what he will get. We must do as he asks.”

            “Right, right, I get it.” Alistair sighed, shaking his head. “But if the King ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I draw the line. Darkspawn or no.”

            For the first time since before she had left home, Ileanna found herself barking out a true, amused laugh. She had to take her time before she could even formulate a reply, her stomach clutching together not out of anxiety but in the pain that the laughter caused. “That would be one hell of a distraction!” She laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes.

            “It would have to be a very pretty dress.” Alistair bat his eyelashes at her, and Ileanna doubled over in another bout of laughter again, shaking with the force of it while Duncan sighed and shook his head.

            “The tower is on the other side of the gorge from the King’s camp,” he started. “The way we came when we arrived. You’ll need to cross the gorge and head through the gate up to the tower entrance.” He gave them both a stern look before his gaze softened. “From the top, you’ll overlook the entire valley, but there is no telling what will happen along the way.” Duncan sighed, his voice low now. “We will signal you when the time is right to light the beacon. Alistair knows what to look for. If you are needed, we will send word to you, but when you are finished, stay with the Teryn’s men and guard the tower. If the archdemon appears…” He looked between the two of them with all of the concern a father has when his children are going to war, despite the fact that he was clearly in the most danger, out of the three of them. “I want no heroics from either of you. The older Wardens will know what to do.”

            Ileanna looked to Alistair, and she could tell that he shared the same worry. If anything were to happen to Duncan… Needless to say, they would both be more than lost.

            “You have less than an hour.” Duncan continued as though he did not see their shared glance. He was just as worried as the two of them, but he had seen more battle in his life than either young warden combined. “Once I leave, the battle will begin.” Duncan took a deep breath, and Ileanna could almost see that he, too, was afraid. “Remember that you are both Grey Wardens. I expect you to behave worthy of that title.”

            Duncan turned to leave, but Alistair stepped forward, clearing his throat.

            “Duncan-“ There was a break in his voice, and for the first time Ileanna realized that Alistair was truly afraid for their commander. When he spoke, his voice was low, as though he didn’t want to betray himself with however his words came out. “May the Maker watch over you.”

            The Warden-Commander gave a sad smile between them, and not for the first time, Ileanna felt like this was a goodbye.

            “May he watch over us all.”


End file.
